Sri Lanka has
celebrated another children’s day amidst of celebrations, national functions
and more and more promises of making a world a better place for children. It is
the same country which experienced a tragic rape and murder of a girl-child and
a murder and a decapitation of a small boy. Although there were many incidents
of child-murders those two incidents have questioned the consciousness of the
Sri Lankan psyche towards children. In a country where religion is quintessential
entity and the bond between children and parents are very strong, it is important
to dig in to the recent wave of violence towards children.
How it happens?
Indeed, the child-friendliness
of our society is questionable. Although raping and murdering children was a rarity,
child sexual abuse is a common occurrence. Sometimes the offender is a close personal
relative or even the child’s own father of sibling. It is not uncommon to hear stories
of even male children getting abused by their fathers and older sisters! Children
are always subjected towards domestic violence physically, emotionally and economically.
What are the
consequences?
Physical and psychological
trauma of such harassment shall remain with the child for the rest of his/her
life seriously incapacitating their development and their ability to trust
others and forming healthy relationships. Even a minor incident of groping can
cause a personality disorder later in the child’s life. There is a serious
tendency for the victims of abuse to become abusers themselves creating a
vicious circle in violence as well.
Are we giving enough
care for the children?
The main reason for
child abuse is neglecting children. This can happen due to various reasons. First
is economic. In most of the rural areas, mother of a family may go abroad for a
foreign employment in the Middle-East leaving the children in the care of the
husband or the grand-parents. In most of the cases, the husband may form an
extra-marital relationship with another woman. The lack of supervision makes
the children an easy prey for sex-offenders.
Young-adults also
become victims of sexual abuse. With improper guidance and protection from the
adults, these hormone-driven youngsters may form unhealthy relationships
hindering their education and future. Not only economically deprived rural
children are falling in as victims of the latter phenomenon but also children
from middle-class urban families.
What are the solutions?
Vigilance, Protection
and Guidance are the three key parts in the solution but you should be
seriously concerned with your ability to nurture and care for the children economically
and socially before deciding to bring one to this world at the first place. Most
of the rural families do not have adequate economical means to support large
families today. This was not true in several decades back although the economic
and health conditions were far worse, but a rural-agrarian family could
maintain five or six children. It is impossible now even to maintain a
one-child-family with the rising inflation and skyrocketing commodity prices
and ever widening amenities in life so it is important to have at least a
stable income and securities for the future to plan having kids. This might
prevent the mother from going abroad for economic means.
If you have decided to
have children, then it is quintessential to keep an eye on children always
specially on very small children. The two child-murders happened recently could
have been avoided if the parents were vigilant on the whereabouts of their children
and at least make the home secure during all time.
Educating children
from an early age is essential. Children should be taught neither to trust
anybody nor to accept anything given by others. In the incident of decapitating a male-child,
the killer persuaded the child and lured him to an abandoned house on the
promise of showing some toys only to slice him into pieces. Schools have lot to do in educating children property
concerning their age category. Parents should guide their children and teach
them the responsibility to keep them safe from possible sexual offenders. It is
surprising to see children as old as 15-16 years become victims of sexual abuse
and become pregnant without the proper sexual education.
There is a heated
debate on bringing up the capital punishment in Sri Lanka again. As a matter of
fact, the capital punishment is already here. It is the President who refuses
to sign the papers to make someone go to gallows. I do not believe that there
will be a reduction of violent crimes and specially rapes if capital punishment
in reintroduced unless it was carried out live in public television! Capital punishment
is not given for rapists at the first place so the legislations need a change
as well.
Prevention is always
better than cure. It is truer than ever when it comes to sexual abuse because the
repercussions are irreparable. It should be made clear that there is no silver
bullet for battling child sexual abuse. The civil society, media, law
enforcement agencies, parents and schools have to be the vanguard in the battle.
Then only we can make a better future for our children.
